Meeting Day 2 and 3 All In One!

Wow, I really do like to procrastinate. Sorry. S says I get that from her.

Oh, and I got to talk to my three sisters today for the first time!!! YAY!!!

Okay, where were we? Oh yes, the meeting. S called me on June 24, 2008. It was almost noon because I told her how I sleep in late. She had stayed the night at her sister's place. It's about 20 minutes or so from my house. Yes, insane, I have had an aunt that has lived by me this whole time. She came over, and we looked through some pictures, and did that normal stuff. We then had a dinner over at my mom's house. My mom really wanted to meet her and S really wanted to meet my mom. When we got to my mom's house I went upstairs and started digging through my baby pictures. I brought a bunch of them down, and we all went through them. My mom even had some extras so S got to take some home with her to show my sisters! Then my mom found some videos of me growing up. A dance recital and a orchestra recital. S taped them with her digital camera. It was really funny. We did that after dinner. Dinner went really great. Mom and S got along really well, and that made me happy.

We ended up staying over there pretty late. S gets up at 4am normally, and so she was really tired and headed back to her sister's house. Luckily, she was able to get a hold of her boss, and he let her have another day off of work. She got to stay another day. That made me so happy.

It was still so surreal at that point, and it actually still is really surreal.

Day 3 (really short day)

S and I got to talk a lot more that day. We asked each other a bunch of favorites questions, and her favorite color is lime green. Crazy to me. We talked about our favorite music and I played her that song Letter To My Mother. It made her cry, but she said it was because she loved it. She said that J used to play that type of music. It's insane to me, we still can't find him. It makes me wonder if he made it big or something. I really hope to do that someday. I really love singing, and she said that I got that from him. I guess he used to play guitar, so I get my instrument ability from him as well. I play violin extremely well, some guitar, some piano, some viola, some cello, some clarinet, and some flute. I really love playing instruments. It's kind of a passion that I haven't gotten to do in a really long time, and I seriously miss it.

Day 3 was when I got to the big question. I asked why she gave me up for adoption. She gave up my brother, but that was because she was fifteen. She kept one of my brothers who is about 3 years older then me, and she kept a younger brother who is 13 months younger. She said it was because she knew she couldn't take care of me. She told me a story about how her and J went and pawned a really nice guitar of his, and he pawned it for like 15 bucks to go get some food for the family. He went back to get it and the guy wouldn't sell it back to him for less then $150. It made me sad to hear that. I wish her life would have been better. Hopefully, together, my sisters and I can help her have a happier life. I also hope that having her in my life will be amazing for me as well. I'm sure it will be.

I really care for her already, but I haven't said I love you yet. I don't know if I can right now, it almost feels like I would be betraying my mom. My mom on the second day said she was a little worried that S would replace her. There's no way that can happen. I told her that, and she said she felt better hearing that. Nobody can replace my mother, but I hope that they will grow to be good friends. That's what I want from S. I want to be one of her best friends, and I hope that she's one of mine. I don't need another "mom" I have my mom. I wouldn't mind having another best friend like my mom though.

Contact

Okay, we left off that she would call me back later in the evening....

Well, that didn't happen! She called 10 minutes later! :)

"Hello, is Lilly there?"

Wow, that voice. She sounds like me.

"This is her," I said nervously.
"This is S, I have worried about you, and prayed about you, and wondered where you were for the past 25 years," came a voice at the other end that you could tell was trying to hold back tears.
"Well, 25 years tomorrow," she said.

Wow.. it was amazing that she remembered my birthday!

That's most of what I can remember from that initial conversation. Most of it was just a blur. I asked her about if I had any brothers and sisters. She said she must have been a rabbit in a past life, because including me she had 7. To me this is amazing, I only have one sister. She gave me their names and ages. We talked for quite awhile. She asked if I still had brown hair and green eyes, and I said yes. I asked her what she looked like and what J looked like. She told me. They both had brown hair. They were both shorter people. That made me thrilled!

We talked about what she would have named me if she were able to keep me. She said Danielle. That's a very pretty name! :).

She said she always wanted to find me, but she was worried that I would hate her. Why would I hate her? She gave me up for all the right reasons. She didn't do it for selfish reasons, she did it because she knew she couldn't take care of me properly at the time, and I must admit, I've had a great life.

It is so surreal from the point of an adoptee. In the course of one phone call, your life is completely different. Surreal is the only word for it.

I finally also found out something I've alway wanted to know, my ethnic background. I'm Cherokee Indian, Irish, Scottish, British, and a little German.

I sent her my myspace and she said that I looked like J's side of the family in my face, and that I had her nose, and high cheekbones!

We are planning on meeting a week from this Monday. I will talk to her more in the meantime, and I will keep everyone updated as to how it goes! :)

Oh one more thing, I get my musical talent from J as well. She said that she initially fell in love with his music. He used to travel around the country in the summer to go play his music.